How to Create a Sexual Health Agreement with Your Primary Partner

From Trusted Resource for HIV

Title: How to Create a Sexual Health Agreement with Your Primary Partner

A sexual health agreement is a mutual understanding or contract between partners that outlines their commitments and boundaries concerning sexual health. It serves as a proactive approach to maintaining physical and emotional well-being in a relationship, fostering open communication, and reducing the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV.

1. Understanding the Importance

Before embarking on creating a sexual health agreement, both partners should acknowledge its significance. It promotes transparency, trust, and respect, ensuring both individuals feel secure and valued in the relationship. A well-thought-out agreement can help prevent misunderstandings and support informed decision-making about sexual health.

2. Initiating the Conversation

Start by choosing a comfortable and private setting free of distractions, ensuring both partners feel at ease. It is crucial to approach the discussion with empathy, openness, and a willingness to listen. Encourage each other to express feelings, concerns, and expectations regarding sexual health without fear of judgment.

3. Key Elements of a Sexual Health Agreement

When drafting a sexual health agreement, consider including the following components:

- Communication: Outline how and when you'll discuss sexual health topics. Regular check-ins can help ensure the agreement remains relevant and effective.

- Testing and Results: Decide on a schedule for regular STI testing and agree to share results transparently with each other. Discuss how you'll handle a potential positive result for any STI, including HIV.

- Condom Use and Birth Control: Clearly articulate preferences and agreements concerning condom use, other barrier methods, and birth control options. Make sure both partners agree on practices that best protect each other’s health.

- Monogamy or Non-Monogamy: Define the relationship structure. If non-monogamy is agreed upon, set boundaries for sexual activities with others and discuss how these interactions will be communicated within the primary partnership.

- HIV Prevention Strategies: If applicable, discuss strategies such as pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for HIV prevention, especially if one partner is HIV-negative and the other is living with HIV.

- Alcohol and Drug Use: Talk about the use of substances that might impair decision-making, and agree on how to handle sexual situations under these influences.

4. Tailoring the Agreement

Recognize that every relationship is unique. Customize your agreement to fit the specific needs, values, and lifestyle of both partners. There is no one-size-fits-all, and flexibility is essential as circumstances and comfort levels may evolve.

5. Reviewing and Updating the Agreement

A sexual health agreement is not static. Schedule periodic reviews to discuss the relevance and effectiveness of its terms. Life changes—such as new job stresses, travel, or other partners—can necessitate revisiting and revising the agreement.

6. Seeking External Support

If drafting the agreement becomes challenging, consider seeking guidance from a relationship counselor or a sexual health professional. They can provide insights and mediate discussions to help both partners reach a satisfactory accord.

Conclusion

Creating a sexual health agreement with your primary partner is a constructive step toward a healthy, trusting, and communicative relationship. By openly discussing and agreeing on various aspects of sexual health, partners can enhance their connection and well-being, paving the way for a harmonious and proactive relationship dynamic.